Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Asleep at the wheel 40 miles left to go
rollin' in on fumes to rock the show"
- MxPx
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I woke up to what sounded like an entire building being demolished next to my ear. “What the hell?” I rolled out of bed and ran for the bus door. The building next to us had suddenly burst into flames. Holy shit. “Joel! Billy! Paul! Chris!” I ran back towards the bunks screaming at the top of my lungs. “Wake up, goddamnit! The hotel just went up in smoke! Wake up!” I pulled back the curtains on Billy and Paul’s bunks. Who gave a damn if they were decent, this was an emergency. Billy squinted into the light, “What the…” I didn’t let him finish, I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him over to the door. “Hello? Hotel in flames here! Let’s get a move on!! Wake Chris up, I’ll get Joel.” Paul emerged from the back lounge, wavering on his feet, trying to make sense of what was going on. Billy grabbed him and started explaining as I rushed to my bunk to wake Joel.

“Joel, get up, now! The hotel’s on…” I trailed off. Joel wasn’t in my bunk. I rushed over to his bunk, pulling the curtain back. No Joel. Oh god no. Please no. I went rushing for the front of the bus. “I can’t find Joel. Have you seen him?” They all shook their heads, and then leaped into action, checking every corner of the bus trying to find him. Please God, don’t let this be happening. Let him be fine. Let him be here. Don’t do this to me. The words chanted themselves over and over in my head. I heard a muffled snort from above me. It came from Benji’s old bunk. I rushed for the ladder, climbing up it in about two steps and throwing the curtain back. “Joel! Oh my god, you scared the crap out of me! Don’t ever, ever do that again! Why weren’t you in our bunk you dumbass?” He was still half asleep and looking at me like I’d just gone totally nuts on him, which I kind of had. I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back and then just gave me a questioning look. “Oh, yeah. By the way, while you were sleeping, the hotel caught on fire! Now get up, we gotta do something!” I stumbled down the ladder, he leaped off it behind me and we were out the door in a few seconds to join the others. We stood there for a second, trying to figure out what to do, before rushing off in different directions. Joel, Billy and me went running towards the hotel, to try and help get people out. Paul had his cell phone out and dialing 911. Chris went to wake up our bus driver.

Suddenly, the entire hotel exploded. And I mean exploded. It seemed to happen in slow motion. Billy saw it coming first, and yelled. “Go back! Go back! Get down!” Joel grabbed my arm and yanked me back towards the bus. I grabbed Billy with my other arm, pulling him after me. The three of us hit the ground somewhere behind the bus, rolling to a stop. The boom that came from the hotel was deafening. Paul and Chris hit the ground next to us, covering their heads. Joel and Billy threw themselves on top of me, and I found myself covering their faces with my hands. God, no, don’t let this be happening. Pieces of hotel and random shit started falling down all around us. Joel tightened his grip around me. The world turned black as night. I closed my eyes and prayed.

When it was over, we all got up to survey the damage. The bus driver had woken up when he heard the explosion, and luckily the bus hadn’t been damaged. Joel helped me up and we went to make sure everyone was alright. Chris had been hit with a piece of flying something and had a cut on his shoulder, but other than that we were all okay. Paul went to get the first aid kit to bandage Chris’ shoulder. We didn’t know what to do really. Should we stay, and wait for authorities to get there? Or just leave? We decided to stay. Paul had already called 911, and about 5 minutes later the fire trucks and ambulances showed up. They put out the fire and then a bunch of investigators were sent in to determine what had happened. They let us get back on the bus, but held us there until the cause was determined. They were afraid whoever had done this to the hotel was after us.

A few hours later, a policewoman came onto the bus and told us the grim news. “Well, we’ve determined the cause of the explosion was a bomb detonated from inside the basement of the hotel. It was a two part bomb, which is why you saw two explosions. We’ve found enough evidence to link it to a felon. We believe he is after you. Now, don’t panic. We’re sure nothing more should happen. We’ve got the whole country on alert to find this guy. And we’re giving you an armed escort to your concert tomorrow night. You guys are gonna be safe as you can be.” The whole time she was speaking, I was clutching Joel so tight I was surprised he hadn’t lost circulation to his arm. I realized it and loosened my grip. We were all freaked out. The police officer told us we were free to leave, and that there were police cars that would be following us. The bus driver started up the bus.

None of us had moved. I let my head fall down to Joel’s shoulder. “Why us? Why is everything happening to us? Do you hate me God?” I looked over at Joel with morbid fascination, “Why would God hate you? Did you do something to piss this guy off? It’s not your fault.” He sighed and laid his head on top of mine. “I guess not, but it sure feels like it.” I rubbed my thumb over the palm of his hand, “Relax. We’ve got an escort. We’re going to be okay.” Billy looked up from where he had his head in his hands. “Going to be okay? Going to be okay? Katie, some madman just blew up the hotel whose parking lot we were in! We are not okay!” Paul looked over at him like he’d just sprouted another head. We weren’t used to Billy acting this way. “I say…we’ve only got one life to live…and we should live it to the fullest. Even if some madman is after us.” I turned to look at Chris, who had been silent until now. He grinned at me and I looped an arm around his shoulders. “Exactly. I’m not afraid of death. It’d be a cake walk next to the shit we’ve all been through. Accept your mortality and let’s just live it up! Come on, what are we gonna do, sit around and obsess? Bite our nails and get really paranoid? Okay, either the guy kills us or he doesn’t. And by the looks of that escort, I’m thinking he doesn’t have much of a chance. Lighten up.”

Billy looked at me, and I don’t think I have ever seen such a look. It was full of hatred and anger, and I got the feeling that he could see right through me, down to my very soul. I was shaken by that look. I found myself shivering. “I know you’re scared Katie. Admit it. Don’t give me that ‘let’s live life to the fullest’ crap. You’re as scared as I am.” I let my arm drop from around Chris’ shoulder. “Of course I’m scared! But just being scared all the time is not going to help us! Would it have helped me to just be scared when my dad started hitting me? Should I have just stood there, quaking, and accepted it? Bullshit! I ran away the first chance I got. You know that, you were there when it all happened. Halfway through senior year. And you guys helped me through. And, yeah, I was scared to go to the police. And I was scared to tell them what was going on. I was scared to death. How easy would it have been for my dad to track me down and hurt me more? How easy? But if I never told, he wouldn’t be behind bars right now, and he might have done worse to me. Would it have better if I was just scared and let him kill me Billy?”

The gleam in his eyes was gone. There was a look of fear there that I knew was in my eyes as well. “I don’t wanna fight with you anymore. I know we need to just calm down and shit but I’m scared. I’m terrified. I don’t want to lose anyone else.” I got up and went to where he was sitting, kneeling at his feet. “I know. We all know. More than anyone else, we know. We’ve all lost someone. Some of us have lost more than others. But we all keep going. You know why? Because life is worth it. And if it comes down to it, I’ll protect you Billy. I’ll put my own life on the line, for any of you. I would gladly sacrifice myself for you guys.” He reached out and drew me into a gentle embrace. I hugged him back. When we pulled away, he smiled at me. “Well, how about some video games then?” I punched him in the shoulder, “is that all you think about?” He waggled his eyebrows at me, “it’s not all I think about.” He looked me up and down slowly, and I grabbed a pillow off the nearest bed and chased him up and down the aisle of the tour bus, whacking him repeatedly with it.
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"Here I go, scream my lungs out
and try to get to you.
You are my only one.
I let go, there's just no one
that gets me like you do.
You are my only, my only one"
- Yellowcard
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We were on the bus all night and early into the morning. When we pulled into our first stop on the new tour, Waldorf, I was sleeping in my bunk with my arms curled around Joel. “Hey, get up, we’re home!” I stirred at the sound of Paul’s voice, but the meaning didn’t sink in. A few seconds later, I realized it. I nudged Joel, “we’re home! We’re finally home!” He smiled and gave me a quick kiss. “Well? Let’s get a move on sleepyhead!” He scowled at me and rolled out of the bunk. I was up in a flash, grabbing clothing and yanking my pajamas off, regardless of who might see me. I was in just my underwear and bra when Billy threw the curtain back on his bunk. “Whoa, I could get used to seeing that every time I wake up. Joel! You lucky bastard!” I smirked and shoved him back into the bunk, pulling on my jeans and shirt quickly. I rushed to the front of the bus to grab my Chucks and plunked down on a chair to pull them on. Paul was jumping up and down with excitement in the doorway of the bus. “Come on, come on come on! Let’s go, let’s go!” He turned to go out the bus door and I jumped on his back. “Yeah Paul let’s go, let’s go! I want a piggyback ride!” He stumbled down the steps and started running around in circles, bouncing me up and down on his back. “Are you two done? Cuz we really want to go say hi to everybody, you know.” I slid off Paul’s back, “Jealous, Chris?” I went right up to him and stood about two inches from his nose. He just looked at me and then blew air in my face. “We all are,” he looked straight at Joel, “you’re a lucky man”. Joel grinned, “I am, aren’t I?”

He let his eyes stray down the length of me and then back up. I sashayed over to him and put my hands on his hips. “You better believe it.” The smile disappeared from his face, and he leaned in, pressing his lips to mine and wrapping his arms around my waist. He deepened it, prying my lips open with his tongue. I moaned his name against his lips and his hand came up to cup my breast before he released me. “Damn. You are lucky.” We turned around and realized the rest of the guys were watching us. “Okay, let’s go and see everybody!” We headed to the rental car that was waiting, a nice SUV big enough for all of us. “I wanna drive! I wanna drive!” I went running for the driver’s side, pulling the door open and hopping in. Joel got in the passenger seat and threw me the keys while Billy, Paul and Chris got in the backseat. “Watch out, Katie’s driving! Get off the road!” I shot Billy a dirty look, “I’ll get you. You better watch out.” He waggled his eyebrows at me but was quiet.

I drove us down towards the neighborhood where our families still lived. I parked the car in the driveway of Mrs. Madden’s house. Joel leaped out of the car and went running for the front door. “MOM!! We’re home!! MOM!!” The door flew open and Robin stepped out to meet her son. It was a touching moment, but he almost bowled her over. We laughed and decided to split up so we could say hi to everyone at once. Billy and Paul got out, heading for their respective houses. Chris went with Billy, since his family lived in Utah. I turned the car off and got out. “Katie! Oh my gosh it’s so nice to see you. It’s been so long.” I was enfolded in Robin’s arms. “Hi mom. How are you?” I had spent the last half of senior year living with the Maddens, but even before then I had been a permanent fixture at the house, so she had always told me to call her mom. We headed inside. Joel went into the kitchen with his mom to get drinks.

I stood and looked at the pictures on the mantelpiece. There was one of the twins as babies, with Josh holding them. There was another one, taken shortly after I had met the twins, when we were all in 8th grade. I was sitting in the middle of the two of them, and they both had their arms around me and their heads on my shoulder. My god, we were all so young back then. There was another one, taken after Benji and I had finally confessed our love for each other. I was sitting on his lap with my arms around his neck, and though I was staring at the camera, he was looking at me. I smiled at that one. That was sophomore year, the beginning of it. Gosh it seemed so long ago. There was a very recent picture, taken when we’d been back home for a while, before the accident. It was of Benji and Joel, sitting on the couch. I was sitting on both their laps, in the middle, with my arms around them. They were both kissing my cheeks, and I was laughing. That one made me tear up a bit.

“That’s one of my favorites too.” I whirled around and found Joel watching me. “Hey. I kinda got caught up in remembering all those times.” He walked over to stand next to me. “I remember this one,” he pointed at a picture, from when we’d gone to visit Islands of Adventure a couple of years ago. It was taken of us on the Jurassic Park water ride. I was sitting in between them, and we all had looks of mock horror on our faces, as if the T-rex had actually scared us. Benji had thrown an arm around me, and Joel had his arms up in the air. I had a look on my face that was between horror and sheer glee. I remembered that day. It was one of the best. “I remember that. And I remember the Cat in the Hat ride too. That was really fun.” I laughed at his comment, remembering.

“Hey, let’s go on this one! I love the Cat in the Hat!” Benji gave me a puppy-dog pout, but I pretended like it wasn’t working on me. Finally I gave in, because Joel joined in with his own puppy face. We got in line and finally it was our turn. We smushed ourselves into the front seat of the car, though it was made for two people. We never listened to anyone. I smiled; here I was in between the two again. Never a bad thing. The ride started going and I was surprised to find myself enjoying it. Maybe because every time the ride turned, I ended up falling on top of either Benj or Joel. “I hope you two are having fun Cuz this is making me dizzy.” They laughed at me. “If you keep falling on us, I’m sure we'll be just fine "I attempted to punch Joel in the arm, missed, and fell across his lap. “Oh yeah baby. Don’t move.”

I looked up at him and reached up, pulling his face down to mine, like I was going to kiss him. Instead, I let my lips get very close to his, and then pulled away laughing. “Tease.” I gave him a shocked look as I tried to keep myself from falling again. “No, I’m just dating your brother. Who’s sitting on the other side of me.” He looked over like he hadn’t known that. “So if he wasn’t here…” I glanced at Benj, who was watching, interested. “Then I would definitely do you, right here, right now.” Joel’s eyes widened. “Really?” I was giggling. I stopped when I saw the look on Benji’s face. “Yeah. But don’t look so sad Benji, if Joel wasn’t here, I would do you right now.” He smiled broadly and kissed me quickly. The ride turned again and I fell across Benji’s lap. “Wow this ride is fun. Don’t you agree, Joel?” I poked Benji in the stomach, and then felt arms around me from the other side. Joel had his hands moving up towards my breasts. Benji, on the other side, was kissing me deeply. I was surprised to find myself liking this. It was probably wrong, but who cared. I kissed Benji, moaning against his lips. Joel was practically humping me from behind, his arms tight around me. I didn’t even try to resist, I just let them do what they wanted. It felt so good. Suddenly, the ride came to a stop. It was over. I broke the kiss, and wriggled out of Joel’s grasp. “Dammit. So close.” I pushed Joel out of the car, “in your dreams, stud.” I took both Joel and Benji’s hands in mine and skipped between them as we headed back outside.

“Yeah. That was a fun ride.” Joel wrapped his arms around me from behind. I turned my head and pressed my lips to his. “Hey, you two. The guys are waiting outside.” We pulled away from each other, turning to see Mrs. Madden smiling at us. “Okay mom, we’ll see you later tonight okay?” She nodded and went to hug Joel once more. Then she hugged me. We headed out to the SUV to meet up with the others. Billy was sitting on the hood. “Ready to go? We gotta get to sound check for the show tonight.” I twirled the keys in my hands. “Let’s go boys.”